Wedding vows

Wedding vows
We had a meeting with our pastor a few months prior to our wedding. This was the first time we had heard our vows properly. We asked for a copy because we wanted to look at them in more detail. To study them. To understand what we were committing ourselves to for the rest of our lives.

Having a copy also gave us chance to practice our vows before the day. Most couples only hear their vows for the first or second time on their wedding day.

Everyone seems to know the most popular part of your vows:

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part"

But it's worth getting familiar with all the other words you have to repeat after your minister. These are the words we said on our wedding day:

The legal declarations
The minister says to the persons who are to be married "I require and charge you both in the presence of God and of this congrgation that if either of you knows anything to prevent you from being lawfully married you do now confess it."

Groom says:
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I (groom's name), may not be joined in matrimony to (Bride's name)."
Bride repeats

The vows
The minister says "(Groom's name) will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together according to the law of God in the holy estate of marriage? Will you love her, honour and keep her, and forsaking all others be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

Groom answers "I will."
The minister repeats to Bride and Bride answers "I will."

Groom says "I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (Groom's name) do take thee (Bride's name) to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for risher for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, according to God's holy law; and to this I pledge myself."
Bride repeats

The giving of the rings
Bride and Groom say together "With these rings we pledge ourselves to each other, in the Name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

A wedding band is the most symbolic piece of bridal jewellery most people will wear. It represents an un-ending union of two people. The tradition of wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand began with ancient Egyptians who believed a vein ran from there directly to the heart.
In addition to standard vows we also chose to say a promise to each other. We found this in the book  'Readings for Weddings'  and now have this poem in our bedroom to remind us of all the promises we made to each other.

I promise to give you the best of myself,

and to ask of you no more than you can give.

I promise to respect you as your own person,

and to realise that your interests, desires and needs

are no less important than my own.

I promise to share with you my time and my attention,

and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.

I promise to keep myself open to you,

to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings,

secrets and dreams.

I promise to grow along with you,

to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

I promise to love you in good times and in bad,

with all I have to give, And all I feel inside in the only way I know how.

Writing your own vows

Some people choose to write their own vows which I think is so personal, sentimental and wonderfully romantic. Don't rule it out straight away. It doesn't have to be all your own work. You could use your favourite lines, the ones that feel personal to you, from love poems.

True Love

True love is a sacred flame

That burns eternally,

And none can dim its special glow

Or change its destiny.

True love speaks in tender tones

And hears with gentle ear,

True love gives with open heart

And true love conquers fear.

True love makes no harsh demands

It neither rules nor binds,

And true love holds with gentle hands

The hearts that it entwines.

Author Unknown

Our Love

Our love is something we have built

From passions, hopes and dreams.

It's safe from any passing moods,

Secure from all extremes.

It's something real and special,

Something solid, something pure.

It's something we can always count on,

ringing sound and sure.

It's something grounded in the heart,

Emitting confidence.

It lives in our emotions;

It is something we can sense.

Our love remains a binding force,

Resistant to all strife.

Amidst the outer pressures,

it's our anchor throughout life.

Bruce B Wilmer

If none of these inspire you, it might be worth investing in a poetry book.

The Nations Favourite Love Poems

wedding favours

Wedding favours are a gift, most commonly, a small one, that is given to each of your guests as a gesture of thanks for attending your wedding and helping to celebrate your special day. Traditionally each guest received five sugared almonds (to represent five wishes: health, wealth, happiness, fertility and longevity) wrapped in a delicate tulle parcel, known in the wedding world as a bomboniere.

It is your choice whether you stick to tradition and have sugared almonds, a quantity of five of your favourites to represent the five wishes, or indeed have favours at all.

Edible wedding favours

Chocolate is a popular choice for favours and many couples go for ease by using for example Thorntons' chocolate duo wrapped and ready to go, which will always go down well.

However, for those of you who have less guests to cater for and a bit of time to get your hands a little messy, why not make your own? Better still, invite your Baking Buddy round and make them together.

I love the beautiful Nigella, who makes creating wonderfully delicious anythings sooooooo easy, not to mention glamorous. I share her passion for chocolate and I'm sure most of your recipients will too when they tuck into these mini indulgences.

Nigella Lawson's Chocolate Truffles covered in pistachios, coconut or nuts

Ooops. I've misplaced the recipe. I will upload it soon.

Nigella Lawson's Chocolate & Pistachio Fudge

Ingredients

350g/12oz dark chocolate, at least 70 per cent cocoa solids, chopped

1 x 397g/14oz can condensed milk

30g/1oz butter

pinch salt

150g/5¼oz unsalted pistachios, shells removed

Method

1. Place the chopped chocolate, condensed milk, butter and salt into a heavy-based pan over a low heat and stir until melted and well combined.

2. Place the nuts into a freezer bag and bash them with a rolling pin, until broken up into some large and some small pieces.

3. Add the nuts to the melted chocolate mixture and stir well.

4. Pour the mixture into a 23cm/9in square tray, smoothing the top with a wet palette knife.

5. Let the fudge cool, then refrigerate until set.

6. Cut into small pieces approximately 3cm x 2cm/1¼in x ¾in. Cutting 7 x 7 lines in the tin to give 64 pieces best achieves this.

7. Once cut, the fudge can be kept in the freezer - there's no need to thaw, just eat straight away.

Making your gifts look pretty

Wrap them in cellophane or even place in a pretty box and tie with a ribbon,

finish with an oversized bow. 

A gift tag with the recipe on creates an instant wow factor as it is then that the recipient realises how special this non-bought gift is.
(As well as encouraging them to have fun making their own).


'A little handmade gift especially for you
to act as a token of thanks, appreciation & mutual celebration.
With love from Mr & Mrs.'


make your own wedding favours

'Star' mince pies

Obviously they don't have to be favours. They make good accompaniments to your welcome drinks and your after meal coffee.

Don't wait until your wedding either. These home-made indulgent goodies are always greatly received at any time of the year, especially when you need a chocolate fix.

Crafty favours

Of course your favours do not have to be edible. I had lots of fun making all sorts of little craft projects before I settled for 'Hanging Hearts'.

I made mine out of clay. All you need is clay, a rolling pin, heart cutter, some gorgeous ribbon and plenty of time, patience and determination when things get a bit repetitive! This is what they looked like before they had dried or been sanded and painted and tied with the gorgeous ribbon. I made the pattern effect by rolling a lacy fabric over the clay. (This idea was pinched from 'Creating your perfect wedding')

 

Flowers

Wedding flowers
Do lots of research before choosing your flowers and it is usually best to make decisions about your flowers after you have chosen your dress. The experts will tell you that there are different styles and shapes that compliment your dress. It is even necessary to think about the size of your bouquet as it needs to be in proportion to you so that it doesn't overwhelm your whole look, or indeed become insignificant. Finally, bear in mind how heavy fresh flowers are and don't forget to hold your bouquet at waist height, rather than chest height (a mistake many Brides make).

The different styles of bouquet are listed below. Please return to my blog to read my advice about each one.
Shower
Pomanders
Trailing
Overarm
Hand-tied posy


Fresh Flowers
If you go for fresh, choosing flowers in season will help keep costs down.

Don’t forget many flowers including roses can be dyed to match your colour scheme. My cousin had royal blue roses. Think about the scents that flowers produce as our sense of smell has powerful memory associations.

The florist
Try to take a photograph of you in your dress to your florist - a good one will be able to give you some sound advice. It is best to have your flowers delivered about half an hour before you leave for your ceremony to leave time for photographs but to ensure they look fresh.


I hate to be a killjoy but do bear in mind that with fresh flowers there is the possibility that they will wilt and/or bruise. If you choose very delicate flowers such as orchids they are likely to be dead by the evening.

Make your own
It is possible to keep costs down by making your own bouquet with fresh flowers. Obviously this will depend on your skills and confidence. Sometimes it may not work out any cheaper once you have paid for flowers and floristry materials to do your trial bouquet. Bear in mind that it is best to make your bouquet the morning you are getting married to reduce the likelihood of them wilting. Will you have the time for this? Fresh flowers stay looking their best when kept in a cool damp place so keep them out of the sun and away from your central heating.

Top tip: If they do wilt, dipping the stalks in hot water for a few seconds and then plunging them in ice will soon help them stand up again.

Flower arranging course
Consider doing a flower arranging course to make your wedding flowers. Or why not make it into a fun event and do a day course with the ladies in your bridal party?


judith blacklock courses

out of the bloom courses

Consider buying a bouquet from a supermarket and tying a pretty ribbon round the stalks to make it easier to hold.

Preserving your flowers after your wedding
After your wedding you need to consider what to do with your bouquet, if you are not one to bide by the tradition of throwing it. Jellybrations are an alternative to drying your flowers to keep as a memento and they can split your bouquet to make several mementos for your loved ones as well as yourself.

Alternatives to fresh flowers
Silk flowers
Silk is a great alternative to fresh and much cheaper. Lots of brides worry that they won’t look real. Have a look online. If they look stunning in the photos online, they would look stunning in your wedding photos. If you’re still unsure, order a sample. I got mine from Sarahs's flowers. I ordered a sample first and I was astonished. You could see the care and attention to detail that they had put into creating it, even in the packaging.

Photo: Harrison White Photography

Here are some other artificial wedding flowers sites:

bridesdreams

silkweddingdesigns

mrsbouquets

workboxdirect

Crystal bouquets
Other alternatives to fresh flowers and these include a crystal bouquet:

angelsinteriors

gemcast

Porcelain bouquets
Why not look at these beautiful porcelain bouquets:

porcelainroses

Feather bouquets
Or even go for a feather bouquet:

yr-design

I chose to have a bridal bouquet and groom's buttonhole made from fresh flowers.

Our groomsmen had silk buttonholes and our bridesmaids had fur hand muffs to help keep their hands warm.

Take care of the Mums

Think about including others in your planning as this radiates the excitement about your special day.

A nice touch is to take your mum and future mother-in-law shopping for their wedding outfits. (If they wouldn’t kill each other in the process)

Some department stores do a personal shopping service, rather like Trinny & Susannah (but with less of the touching and nasty comments) and in John Lewis, you can even combine your experience with champagne and chocolates. What could be more fun than that?

Gifts
A hat box is a great gift idea for your mums to store the hat they wore on your special day and it's much more original than the usual bouquet. Buy a set and you can even keep one for yourself to store those all important keepsakes such as your veil and tiara or even your underwear and garter.

Wedding ideas

Where can I get ideas for my wedding?

Other people! are definitely the best for getting ideas. Married couples will tell you their best and worst moments, things they wished they had done, things they wish they had not bothered with. Guests will tell you aspects of weddings that were memorable - for the right and the wrong reasons.

The World Wide Web
The internet is the obvious place to look for ideas. Wedding websites are also very obvious for ideas, although be wary of buying from these sites as their 'wedding' tag makes them expensive.

http://www.confetti.co.uk/

http://youandyourwedding.co.uk/

http://www.weddingideasmag.com/

http://www.uniqueweddingideas.co.uk/

...are a few popular sites that cover general ideas. When I was planning my wedding I found it useful to look at specific sites for each aspect of my wedding. I have listed some of my favourites in the related blogs on my site.

Television
There are a number of TV programmes where you can get wedding ideas from. Be warned-they may become addictive!

'Four Weddings' is similar to the much loved come dine with me. Four couples rate each others weddings on categories including 'the venue', 'the dress', 'the food' and 'overall presentation'. The winner, the couple with the highest vote, receives a honeymoon. A competition worth entering.

'Don't Tell The Bride' is a favourite of mine as the Bride is not allowed to know or be involved in any of the planning for her BIG DAY. It is all down to the Groom to plan the perfect wedding for his Bride to Be - on a budget. I adore this programme as I think us Brides (to be) can really underestimate our men and this goes to show time and time again that they can do us proud.

'My Big Fat Faboulous Wedding' is a show for those of you who love to awe in other people spending tens of thousands, and often millions of dollars on wedding 'can't do withouts'.

Although specifically for cakes - 'Ace of cakes'  is a great TV programme for getting very original ideas.

Books

'Creating Your Perfect Wedding' is one book I found difficult to put down. Turning page after page I wanted to create everything in this book.

Creating Your Perfect Wedding: Stylish Ideas And Step-by-step Projects For A Beautiful Wedding(Paperback - May 2006)

by Lucinda Ganderton (Author) with Sania Pell

Amazon and ebay are great sites to find this book at a bargain price but don't forget your local bookshops, WHSmith and why not rent it from your local library if you want to save money.

Magazines
Again wedding magazines are obvious for obtaining wedding ideas.

'You and Your Wedding'
'Wedding Ideas' comes in a handy handbag size and is jam-packed full of ideas and real life stories.

Once I had ordered my dress, I suddenly became aware of just how many adverts these magazines contain for wedding dresses.

Don't forget interior design magazines.
Living
Good homes
Ideal Home
Country living ...are just a few.

These are invaluable when thinking about a look for your venue as these magazines, aside from the middle spread country grandeur that will never be yours unless you win the lottery, often include a stunningly laid table that is bound to tantilise you. These magazines are also a great source for choosing your colour scheme, sometimes you just need a helping hand with deciding what else goes with red or lilac or those chocolate brown bridesmaid dresses that you just adore.

Financing your wedding

Think carefully about how much you are willing to spend on your wedding. remembering that albeit an important day it is only one day in your life, the beginning of your married life together that many couples don't want to start off in debt.

One couple I know regretted that they were still paying off their wedding day over 5 years later.

Obviously there are loads of money saving wedding ideas, many of which you will find on my blog.

More and more couples are asking for money instead of having a traditional department store gift list in order to help pay for their special day.

One option for you may be a credit card and with the cash back credit cards that are available now it may be worth considering, even if you have the cash up front. You are rewarded in cash for spending on your card which you could pay off straight away. www.moneysavingexpert.com is a fantastic website for keeping you informed on the best credit card deals.