We had a meeting with our pastor a few months prior to our wedding. This was the first time we had heard our vows properly. We asked for a copy because we wanted to look at them in more detail. To study them. To understand what we were committing ourselves to for the rest of our lives.
Everyone seems to know the most popular part of your vows:
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part"
But it's worth getting familiar with all the other words you have to repeat after your minister. These are the words we said on our wedding day:
The legal declarations
The minister says to the persons who are to be married "I require and charge you both in the presence of God and of this congrgation that if either of you knows anything to prevent you from being lawfully married you do now confess it."
Groom says:
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I (groom's name), may not be joined in matrimony to (Bride's name)."
Bride repeats
The vows
The minister says "(Groom's name) will you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together according to the law of God in the holy estate of marriage? Will you love her, honour and keep her, and forsaking all others be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"
Groom answers "I will."
The minister repeats to Bride and Bride answers "I will."
Groom says "I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (Groom's name) do take thee (Bride's name) to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for risher for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part, according to God's holy law; and to this I pledge myself."
Bride repeats
The giving of the rings
Bride and Groom say together "With these rings we pledge ourselves to each other, in the Name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
A wedding band is the most symbolic piece of bridal jewellery most people will wear. It represents an un-ending union of two people. The tradition of wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand began with ancient Egyptians who believed a vein ran from there directly to the heart.
In addition to standard vows we also chose to say a promise to each other. We found this in the book 'Readings for Weddings' and now have this poem in our bedroom to remind us of all the promises we made to each other.
I promise to give you the best of myself,
and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to respect you as your own person,
and to realise that your interests, desires and needs
are no less important than my own.
I promise to share with you my time and my attention,
and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship.
I promise to keep myself open to you,
to let you see through the window of my world into my innermost fears and feelings,
secrets and dreams.
I promise to grow along with you,
to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
with all I have to give, And all I feel inside in the only way I know how.
Writing your own vows
Some people choose to write their own vows which I think is so personal, sentimental and wonderfully romantic. Don't rule it out straight away. It doesn't have to be all your own work. You could use your favourite lines, the ones that feel personal to you, from love poems.
If none of these inspire you, it might be worth investing in a poetry book.
The Nations Favourite Love Poems
True Love
True love is a sacred flame
That burns eternally,
And none can dim its special glow
Or change its destiny.
True love speaks in tender tones
And hears with gentle ear,
True love gives with open heart
And true love conquers fear.
True love makes no harsh demands
It neither rules nor binds,
And true love holds with gentle hands
The hearts that it entwines.
Author Unknown
Our Love
Our love is something we have built
From passions, hopes and dreams.
It's safe from any passing moods,
Secure from all extremes.
It's something real and special,
Something solid, something pure.
It's something we can always count on,
ringing sound and sure.
It's something grounded in the heart,
Emitting confidence.
It lives in our emotions;
It is something we can sense.
Our love remains a binding force,
Resistant to all strife.
Amidst the outer pressures,
it's our anchor throughout life.
Bruce B Wilmer
If none of these inspire you, it might be worth investing in a poetry book.
The Nations Favourite Love Poems
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